Listening to right now- Silver and Cold by AFI


A few years ago I met a girl. I call her Matanda. I admired her so much because she was so fun , outgoing, and just all around awesome. I still think the same. But one thing that struck me interesting about her was how emotionally strong she was, or seemed. She is my good friend and hopefully will remain so.

A month ago I was on the phone with a friend. She was saying somethings that made me very sad. At the end of our conversation my friend said to me that it didn't sound like I was crying. Apparently she was expecting me to cry. Truth be told, and despite myself, I was bawling.

All this to say that we all can fool everyone with our demeanor. Although everyone likes to think or make others think they're strong, none of us really are. The bad thing about being so seemingly strong is that your or other people will hurt you intentionally or unintentionally but you will think that they're so strong, but chances are- they're not.

Why did I tell you all that? I have no idea why, but it's been bugging me lately how I can seem strong to some but in reality I'm not that strong, but I'm working on it.


Listening to right now- Starts with One by Shiny Toy Guns

PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!!!

Last night I talked on the phone with Cassie, and one of the first things she said was "I think I might have to go to the ER tonight." I asked her what the flippen heck is wrong with her and she said that she has the horrible pain below her ribs. I talked to her around 8:30 pm last night. I just got off the phone with her dad, and he said that they did go to the ER and that she's home right now, but she's sleeping. He also said they haven't seen her at all today...and she normally wakes up around 6:45 or somewhere around there. So keep her in your prayers



So this weekend was alot of fun. I went to the Sillamans around noon and we ate, and just did stuff. Then we had Youth group. That was good. Then we all got in a car and went back to the sillamans. the ppl that were in a 5 seater car- Julia, Amanda, Mr Sillaman, Mrs Sillaman, Valerie, Alina and me. yeah so we got back and we watched Step Up and did stuff...Then we played (believe it or not, we played it) Truth or Dare, but since it was around Midnight or 1 we only did truth. That was...interesting, but fun. Then around 3:30 am we went to sleep. The next day, Julia and I got up around 11..am. We ate, then went downstairs and watched "How to lose a guy in 10 days" and we did eachothers hair. That was a very long but fun process. Valerie, Julia, Amanda and I all did my hair...inthe span of 2 days...wow....We curled Alinas hair also, and it looks so perty! So thats practically what we did on Saturday..I know we did more...but yeah. Then at around 9:30 we went to bed cause we were soooooo tired, but I didn't go to sleep till around 11:15 for reasonsI will explain, but basically I couldn't sleep. So the next morning at 7 we got up and got all ready for church and stuff, then we went to church and did my hair, Julia, and Amandas hair. Then we had...well you know the rest.



For those who have my aim screen name- I can accept off line messages, so if theres somthing you need to tell me or whatever message me when I'm off line and I'll get the message.



the explaination to why I went to sleep at 11:15 on Saturday-
Late at night I like to sit up in my bed and just think about life, love, learning, my friends, my enemies, my day, what went wrong, what went right, my mistakes and much much more. But it's only at night when I think about these things. I can't think about it during the day cause I'm so much more vulnerable to...everything. But another reason for thinking about these things only at night is, if I choose to write...if I choose to cry, and if I choose to become someone else. Someone said that night is a good time to think because it's so quite. The whole world is sleeping... So no one knows when I sit up and think about these things. But it's good for me. I give me a chance to shamelessly look back on life. YOu should try it.



Today has been a Strawberry day so far...besides the fact that I sound horrid, but the day isn't over yet.

OH yeah...I have a tournament coming up this weekend...so please pray for me. Anyone wanna come see me speak about something?

my cat.

Sometimes life throws me lemons and sometimes strawberries and yes even apples at times.


Lemons- bad day . just like the sour taste, they're not the best

Strawberries- good day. don'tcha just wanna savor the sweet taste?

Apples-ok days. hard but good. it's my version of a day of lemons and strawberries.


Today is and Apple day so far.

P.S. My cat says "hi"

New gymnastics class..

Well today I went to a new gymnastics class, and it was fun. I'm the tallest (by like 2 feet) and eldest (by 2 years). Oh don't I feel special. Anyway, Mrs. Lisa was my teacher again, and then this other dude named Ram (no joke). He's cool, but he pushes us to keep goin so that's good. Today was a very good day also cause I just seemed to shine. I got everything. I even did my roundoff bhs bhs(FINALLY!)!!!! (I screamed after that!) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i might've even done a roundoff backtuck if they would've spotted me, but no...but im starting to have the feeling that some of y'all have no idear what so ever whatI'm talking about. thats ok. Just ask. SO I guess I'll get goin. I should anyway...but I'll leave ya with a picture that's up there^.

oh yeah! the thing withthe flooding...I don't exactly know what happpened, but our basement flooded, and my brothers bathroom stinks worse than fish! not that I'd know, cause I've avoided it at all costs, but that's what Brian says. So we got it all cleaned up and our basement looks better than it did yesterday. Yesterday everything was everywhere down there. Again with the avoiding at all costs...







Wishing that more snow would come our way....

a quiz thing.

I found this, and I want all of y'all to answer it. Do not be freaked out by some of the questions. just answer it..


1. Whαt's your nαme?
2. Are we close?
3. What do you think of me?
4. What do you admire most about me?
5. Am I your best friend?
6. Where did we meet?
7. Would you kiss me?
8. Would you hug me?
9. Describe me in 3 words
10. If you hαd me for 30 mins, whαt would you do?
11. Whαt wαs your first impression of me?
12. Do you still think the sαme?
13. Whαt reminds you of me?
14. If you could give me αnything whαt would it be?
15. How well do you know me?
16. What do you like best αbout me?
17. Ever wanted to tell me something you couldn't?
18. Could you ever love me?
19. Give me a nickname and explain why?
20. Are you gonnα put this on your blog and see whαt I say αbout you?
21. Anything to sαy before you go?

just answer...


btw, I was gonna get that shirt....isn't is awesomating??

OMGOSH!

MY HOUSE IS FLOODING!!!!!!!!!

I guess we all hold onto dreams that are never gonna come true...

Oh Joyus day. .not!!!!!

My computer is mesed up . . .again. The sound isn't working so those who put vids on their blogs, Ican't listen to them. .i can only imagine. . anyway. . .

NOELLE! you are sick, but so am I. we can bask in the sniffles together. . .did that sound weird to anyone else??? Well I think I might have laryngitis also. . .so y'all need to learn Sign Language.. . .cause alot of times I don't feeel like talking. . .is that even possible?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!??!?!?! I never thought I'd want to not talk. .. double negatives. . ..you know what I mean. . .

ok, thanks Lauren for the pint last night . hehehe I ate it aaaaalllllllll last night. . .yeah. .

I missed y'all. . .

Well you might have noticed that I'm back from Kentucky. The conference was very stressing, painful (physically. I'll explain later), and just over all tiring. One of the interns said that 1 day at CFC is more draining than a day of physical labor. And he'd know. (oh and the pic is of my friend Karen Kovaka. I talk about her later. )

Stressing- At the last moment, I was revising my speeches. and re-memorizing them. Trying to figure out where to go, trying to get places, and trying to not die.

Painful- Everyday I put on these shoes that had a highish heel. I bend one of the heels out of shape, so for 16 consecutive hours, my shoes were very very uncomfortable. . for 3 or 4 days. My suits were also uncomforable.

Overall Tiring- Getting 5 hours sleep is not my thing. especially doin it for 4 days straight and on the day that i'm supposed to get 6 hours I only got 4 hours. I kept falling asleep in classes. We had to walk aaaallll around this church that the conference was hosted at, and I had tourneys which I almost fell asleep in. Just . . .tiring. . . .


on a sadish note, I found out I have to make a really big decision about speech and high school. I just ask that y'all pray that I can make the right decision for my life. Thanks

everyday I went to classes on how to improve my speeches and speechifying. One of my classes was called "The Prestige." it was taught by my friend Karen Kovaka.She's really cool. The main one thing we have in common, is philosophy. . fun. I know, strange, but I like it and so does she. Anyway she kind ruined the movie for me cause I didnt see it and she told everyone what happened at the end. yeah. Anyway the classes were on impromtu, so that was fun. One thing she said that I really really liked was this, and I guess I'll end the post with it-




They eyes are the windows into the soul.
- Karen Kovaka

thanks noelle. thanks alot

Nono tagged me. great


1)What's the most fun work you've ever done, and why? (two sentences max)

I dunno. The OC Missions Trip was alot of fun. . but I really liked my babysitting job for my neighbors down the street, cause the kids love me (shocking! iknow) and they're really fun.

2)A. Name one thing you did in the past that you no longer do but wish you did? (one sentence max)

be a vegetarian

B. Name one thing you've always wanted to do but keep putting it off? (one sentence max)

get a speech written on time!

3)A. What two things would you most like to learn or be better at, and why? (two sentences max)

I would love to learn XHTML and CSS so I can design websites, and use that as a buisness because I know I'd get alot of money from that. I don't know if XHTML and CSS are 1 or 2 things cause they are for the same purposes, so just incase you think they are 1 thing-

I would really like to be better at writing speeches ontime so I really really don't have to hurry for speech or tournament.

B. If you could take a class/workshop/apprentice from anyone in the world living or dead, who would it be and what would you hope to learn? (two more sentences, max)

I'd love to train or atleast meet Olga Korbut, or Bela Karolyi
If I ever do end up meeting one of them I guess it would depend on my skills at gymnastics that would determine what I would hope to learn, but at the moment, I just wanna learn a longhang pullover (no julia I still don't have it) or a roundoff bhs backtuck
4)A. What three words might your best friends or family use to describe you?
WEIRD
annoying
late

B. Now list two more words you wish described you...

creative
unemotional

5) What are your top three passions? (can be current or past, work, hobbies, or causes-- three sentences max)

God
gymnastics(if you havent guessed)
writing

6) (sue me) Write--and answer--one more question that YOU would ask someone (with answer in three sentences max)

All the times that things in life fell through, why did they?

cause of my stupidity or lack of caring, or my own selfish desires. It's basicly all my fault.

[Bonus: What is one question you wish people would ask themselves?]

Why don't I choose to go make a difference in the world?





I guess I'll tag these ppls-

Julia Giel
Theater
Julia S.
Amanda Sillaman
Matanda

so tired.. .

So on Thursday I had speech and that didn't go terribly well. Well anyway after speech my mom, grandma, brothers and I went to Carrabas for dinner. My dad was in Pennsylvania. So we got to the restaurant and while we waited I slept. We got to our table ordered, and I slept some more. My soup came. I ate, pushed the bowl away and slept some more. Dinner came. I ate pushed the plate away, and yes! you guessed it- I slept. Then we left and on the way home. . .yes I slept. Believe it or not I wasn't really tired that day. Maybe I was just exhausted though from what I have no idea. So around 2 that night I went to bed.. . like always.

Anyway, things at my house have been slightly odd lately. My grandma's in town and whenever she's here things just arent the same. I can't go to friend's houses, and people arent allowed here (althought we dont really care about that rule so much)i dunno. .

Ever since I got back from my cruise. Things have been different with me. One of the people I met on my cruise kinda made me see life differently. They made me feel like I wasn't alone in this world. I guess I always knew that, but . . .. well they made me feel that people are closer to me than I thought, and yes sometimes closer to me than I want.

Now and then we all need a reality check right?


Over an out

wow. . . weird!

So I was checking my email and I got an email from the ppl at MASTERS which is the public speaking conference I'm going to in a few days. The email game a list of homework for the different majors. My majors are Interprative and Impromptu. So I read my homework assignments and then I looked at the different assignments for the other different majors. I happened upon Platform. This is what they gave the platform majors for homework -

Platform Major

1. Write a short overview of the life and speeches of a famous orator.

2. Bring three copies of your platform speech script(s).

3. Climb a tree (trust us on this one, your experience will be enhanced if you carry through with this assignment).

4. Script submission form with a copy of each platform script. Use the NCFCA form for this tournament. You can print the form from this link: http://www.ncfca.org/downloads/pdf/RU1_F040906204606_NCFCA_National_Championship_Script_Submission_Form.pdf


(y'all don't have to click the link.) Yeah so did you notice number 3???? I did, and Imust say, I would do that anyday, but for a platform speaking assignment. . . I just found that weird. Maybe I'll go climb a tree anyway. . . . .

HAPPY NEW YEAR. . .

is it really "happy?" yeah.. . its supposed to be. . anyway, juliA, I see you finally found my blog, and Joey, Barlowgirl is a band. . .I'll post one of their vids at the end of this post. Anyway, last nights party was fun, and I'm really gonna miss the Yoests. . .no more all nighters with theater, getting forced to read mystery books. . .no more sneaking food up to her room. . .no more laser tag with theater, and Panzer Commander around their house (THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!). .no more. . .waaa!!!!!!! oh well, but y'all better keep in touch. . .

Anyway, I gotta write a speech, and just to let y'all know I won't be here the 9th through the 15th. Not all of y'all know that so yeah. Im goin to Kentucky for a speech conference and tournement. YIKES!!! So please pray cause I still don't have a speech. thanks. here's the vid-